Friday, 29 August 2008

Fresh Water makes me feel small

Watching Planet Earth
Fresh Water makes me feel small


under Lake Baikal's shield
fish sneak in ice
while freshwater seals glide
over fingers of alien-green sponge
and arthropods yellow like mangos
eat the dead where even bacteria cannot survive
in the oldest deepest lake


in the mountain streams
larvae hook to the rocks
and spin safety lines in case they slip
like aquatic mountaineers
while shrimp catch passing detritus
and giant salamander prowl at night
for eighty years


on the bed of Lake Malawi
cichlid make craters in the sand
and dolphin-fish hunt
sensing electric currents
while mayfly grubs age in the abyss
to buoy during rainy season
and explode in clouds of flies
on the surface
since colonial times

The prof wrote of this, "and I want to say... so? There should be something further here, a reflection that goes beyond the title, something that moves the reader to understand your response to this. It's like a description without illumination." I think she's right, so I'll work on maybe a section IV. that provides that illumination.

1 comment:

skatej said...

I found you through "Unneccessary Quotation Marks", and was intrigued by your user name! Your blog did not dissappoint! I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin